My Greatest Enemy

Some days I wake up, and I can't figure out why? Why am I being forced to confront another day full of sadness and depression? Why must I face another day of isolation? Why do I have to experience more heartbreak? Why am I being forced to put on a brave face? As soon as I awaken I cannot wait to return to a slumber that allows me to forget all my troubles. A slumber that provides me with happiness, even if it is a false sense of happiness. This slumber doesn't last though, every morning I am pulled from it and thrown back into the harsh reality that is my life. Every morning I put the mask back on and prepare for battle once again. Some days I feel like I can defeat the army and breathe again. Other days I lose and suffer a loss so great that I don't think I will ever recover physically, mentally, or emotionally. I'm fighting alone, as my army has abandoned me. One by one all of my once loyal soldiers have gone AWOL. I fight alone, I win alone and I lose alone. I am my everything; my country, my quern, and my military. If I am defeated it will be the end. I will not recover, all will be lost. I have no allies, only enemies. And my greatest enemy is closer than I choose to believe. She follows me where ever I roam. When I attack she counter attacks so fiercely that just the thought of trying to fight her makes me break down. She's in my head, she knows what I'm thinking, what my next move will be. I can't stop her; she's too strong, too smart, too cunning, too clever, too hateful, too conniving, too deceitful, too evil. I can't win! She will defeat me, and there is nothing I can do to stop her.