I can handle most days. The noise blocks out my thoughts. Its the nights I can't handle, there's no noise. All that's left is silence and in that silence my thoughts are free to roam and wander. And in their wandering I find them entering spaces in my brain where they don't belong. I see a flash of your smile and I can feel my stomach twist. I feel you grab my waist and my skin crawls. I don't want to see those images but its so quiet, I have no choice. I close my eyes as hard as I can but that doesn't help. I hear your laugh and my ears start to bleed. I hate you so fucking much, and yet when I close my eyes, there you are. Go away!!! Its too quiet! I can't think straight! Please just leave my thoughts. This is exactly what you wanted and I hate myself for giving it to you.
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